Opinionated Bastard

2002-05-02T16:22:00.000-07:00

WHY AM I NOT SURPRISED?
Finally, Congress has somewhat meekly voiced its support for Israel.

The Senate version of the bill was symbolic and largely omitted language from the House which placed blame on Arafat. Despite the watering down in the Senate, two members voted against it:

"The two most senior Democrats, Sens. Robert Byrd of West Virginia and Ernest "Fritz" Hollings of South Carolina, still opposed it, however, saying it ignores Israeli responsibility and the plight of the Palestinians.

Hollings even likened Israeli Prime Minister Ariel Sharon to Iraqi President Saddam Hussein because he refused to allow a United Nations team into Jenin to evaluate the destruction there."

Amazing. Hollings and Byrd. Hollings is the go-to boy of the Hollywood elite and is probably bitter from the abject failure of his proposed legislation which would have essentially made your computer the property of Disney. Byrd is a former Klansman. You cannot make this stuff up.

2002-04-09T15:14:00.000-07:00

BLAME THE VICTIM
Hey, are you tired of seeing a sizable chunk of your hard-won earnings going to The Man? Well, I hate to tell you this, but it's all your fault.

In unrelated news, you have also been implicated in the death of Santa Claus.

2002-03-28T19:38:00.000-08:00

MAKE IT STOP!
I recently completed the digital whirlwind of mayhem known as Grand Theft Auto 3. One of the many attractions of the game is that you can interact with (read: bash the heads of) passersby, rival gang members, prostitutes, etc. My favorite soundbite from the game comes from the cab drivers, who are almost all of South Asian extraction. Anyway, the cab drivers are fond of yelling, "hey moron!" with Apu-like authenticity.

The trouble is, I can't get the "hey moron!" bit out of my head. Whenever I hear someone quip, as if for the first time, "We really need to find out what motivated the terrorists to harm us..." out pops "hey moron!" When I hear otherwise intelligent folk advocating that Israel follow up on the Arab world's offer to have "normal relations" my skull splits with a chorus of thousands of "hey moron!"

I am nothing if not mild-mannered and polite, even in the face of sheer idiocy. If only I had the chutzpah of the ones and zeros flitting around in my Playstation 2 to say what I really mean.

2002-03-28T16:34:00.000-08:00

NATURAL SELECTION IN PROGRESS
This just in from the wire:

    Also Thursday, about 600 pro-Palestinian foreigners,
    mostly European members of a group called Public
    International Protection, arrived in Ramallah, saying
    they hoped to serve as human shields against any
    Israeli action.

Gee, I hope they fare better than the two TIPH (Temporary International Presence in Hebron) observers, who were gunned down in cold blood by Palestinian Authority police.

2002-03-28T15:14:00.000-08:00

THE ONLY THING WORSE THAN BEING GOOGLED IS NOT BEING GOOGLED
I have to wonder about the people who have been accessing this blog in recent days. It appears that a number of them found their way here in a fruitless search for pr0n.

One searcher arrived on these rather vanilla shores by way of a yahoo search for "Indonesia maid s3x" (where 3 = e for purposes of slowing the tide of pr0n-hungry searchers).

Another one, at an Arabic-language IP, made his way here looking for the phrase "all cop are bastard", which appears to be a reference to a similarly-titled song by the Oi! band The 4Skins (or was it the Cockney Rejects? I can't remember). I never realized that skinhead culture was all that popular in the Arab world, but in light of recent events, it kind of makes sense...

2002-03-28T14:23:00.000-08:00

WORST... HAS-BEEN... EVER!
Wow, Arafat now says he's willing to agree to a "cease-fire" with Israel.

So which Arafat is "offering" this grand gesture, while the stench of hate and death still fills the sea-side resort town of Netanya?

Is it the same Arafat who takes no responsibility for the actions of the terrorists in his midst (and in his own organization)?

Is it the same Arafat who released from jail the unreconstructed sick fuck responsible for the Netanya massacre?

Is it the same Arafat who financed and supplied war materiel to anti-Israeli forces as early as 1948?

Is it the same Arafat who plotted a series of deadly hijackings throughout the 1970s?

Is it the same Arafat who used Lebanon as a base for terror attacks on Israel in the 1980s, thus requiring the Israelis to invade Lebanon?

Is it the same Arafat who supported Saddam Hussein?

Is it the same Arafat who silenced dissent in his own movement by jailing critics?

Is it the same Arafat who ordered his personality cult to leave the Arab League Summit when it became clear it would not be a forum under his control?

Pardon the rhetoric. I just cannot escape the feeling that Arafat and his supporters do not realize the gravity of the situation at hand. In the aftermath of the Passover bombing, a survivor tried to assist a woman who was injured by the blast. She refused his help, saying "How can you help me? I don't have legs.'' At least the woman had the presence of mind to realize her time was up. It's a pity Arafat doesn't acknowledge his own fate so stoically.

2002-03-28T13:31:00.000-08:00

AGAIN WITH THE SWEATPANTS
It seems like the issue of reparations for slavery pops up about once or twice a year these days. Most recently, a woman in New York has filed a claim against a number of corporate entities on grounds they profitted from slavery.

For a variety of reasons, I don't believe reparations for slavery are, as Wilford Brimley might say if he were not trying to mainline Quaker Oats, "the right thing to do". For some specific reasons, I feel that trying to seek judicial remedies for slavery is strategically a lost cause.

If nothing else, this issue gives me the chance to spew out some of my writing. The piece is a bit dated, and not as clean as I'd like, but I think it's a fairly balanced (if that's possible) take on the whole issue of just how to deal with the problem.

UPDATE: Tony Woodlief has addressed this issue with more tact and eloquence than I could muster on a day when even the nice voices in my head aren't screaming for an orgy of violence to fall upon my enemies. Read his bit instead of mine.

2002-03-27T21:22:00.000-08:00

ANOTHER ONE BITES THE DUST
Looks like Gun Control Central has thrown in the towel. The City of Boston has opted to drop its frivolous, groundless lawsuit against the firearms industry. I hope residents of Beantown are pleased to learn their taxes were being spewed away at a rate of roughly $30,000 per month.

UPDATE: Jersey City, NJ, has decided to bring a lawsuit against gun manufacturers. Talk about your bad timing. Let me get this straight. After seeing countless cities bring these suits either lose outright or drop them altogether, Jersey City is just now deciding to hop on the bandwagon? By Jersey City's logic, it's now a great time to invest in a dot com startup.

2002-03-27T21:10:00.000-08:00

BEEN THERE, DONE THAT
This article describes the about-face by Washington University School of Law, which previously tried to withhold scholarship funds from graduates choosing to work for the military.

Here is my favorite part of the article:

      But the head of OUTLAW, a student group that supports gay and lesbian rights,
      said the reversal violates principles he believes the School of Law should defend.
      T.J. Hill said the decision would open the door for financial assistance for
      graduates who work for organizations like the Ku Klux Klan.

You mean the decision will provide funds for graduates who choose to work for the ACLU? The horror!

2002-03-27T19:33:00.000-08:00

IN LAW SCHOOL, THEY TEACH US ANALOGIES...
Fresh on the heels of yet another suicide bombing resulting in the deaths of several Israelis, Jesse Jackson has offered to mediate the "conflict" between the Palestinians and Israel.

Ahem.

Am I putting it too bluntly when I say that putting Jesse in such a role would be like allowing a defrocked Catholic priest to mediate a conflict between Jeffrey Dahmer and a naked, 15-year-old Laotian kid? Or like letting the Hell's Angels provide security at a Rolling Stones concert (oops)? Or like allowing folks who couldn't get hired at Wal-Mart to be in charge of airport security (oops again)?

One can easily imagine the result of a Jesse-sponsored resolution. First, every major public works project in Israel must be handed to a contractor who happens to be a friend of Jesse. Second, countless unexplained mini-Jesses are born at hospitals throughout Israel and the West Bank. Last, Jesse and friends receive full pardons from whatever UN-selected president replaces Sharon.

Creepy, isn't it?

2002-03-27T19:00:00.000-08:00

I am back.

2002-01-04T06:56:00.000-08:00

PUZZLING SITE VISIT DATA

I've done some semi-Orwellian checking up on the few folks who are actually landing on this site. The top three visitor types are as follows:

1. people using Google to look for pictures of Elmo,

2. people linking from other blogs (thanks to Ye Olde Blogge, Daimnation, Libertarian Samizdata, and Tony Pierce),

and

3. employees of the State of Idaho.

So, by way of a vague greeting to my small bevy of frequent fliers, I'd like to say, "Sorry for the Elmo mixup, thanks for linking, and please say hello to my Uncle Jim in Boise."

Thanks.

2002-01-01T07:54:00.000-08:00

WELL, THAT PROBLEM IS SOLVED...

Boy, I hope Congress is content with the recent federalization of airport security. It has really worked out well, except for those security breaches and all. Let's see, in recent days we have: the guy who managed to go through several checkpoints with a loaded 9mm pistol in his carry-on luggage, the suspension of two Denver International Airport screeners who let a man pass without going through the metal detector, the unspent round found on an airport concourse in Florida, mass firings of convicted felons in the screener ranks, the DOT's easing of minimum requirements for employment (no high school degree required, for example), etc.

It's safe to say that the federalization of airport security screeners is working about as well as our glorious national rail system and envy of the free world, Amtrak.

2001-12-23T10:11:00.000-08:00

SNEAKER BRANDS VIE FOR TARIQ RAJA SPONSORSHIP DEAL

Unidentified sneaker rep takes Raja/Reid to undisclosed location for negotiations.

In the wake of the failed attempt to detonate shoe-deployed C-4 on board an American Airlines jet bound for Miami, Nike, Adidas, and New Balance have dispatched representatives to Boston to attempt to secure a sponsorship deal with Sri Lankan/British/Jamaican wingnut Tariq Raja/Richard Reid.

A high-level official with Nike, speaking on condition of anonymity, remarked, "If we can get the new 'Nike Air Tariq C-4 Extreme High Tops' on the shelves before spring, we're confident we'll be able to corner the market on terrorist-themed athletic footwear."

2001-12-23T10:04:00.000-08:00

IT'S OFFICIAL: OSAMA BIN LADEN CLEARED IN SEPTEMBER 11TH ATTACKS

The hunt for Osama Bin Laden was summarily called off early this morning when reports surfaced detailing that Osama's mom doubts the evidence against her son.

"I believe the evidence against him is not solid,'' said Osama's mama, Alia Ghanem. Wife Number Four to Saudi multi-zillionaire Mohammed Bin Laden went on to aver: "I don't believe that he did the terrible deeds they say he did.''

Well, that settles it, then.

In unrelated news, Pol Pot's barber has come forth with the startling news that he was innocent, after all.

2001-12-19T17:05:00.000-08:00

I LOVE THIS COUNTRY

Indonesia Maid Sues Saudi Princess

ORLANDO, Fla. (AP) — The Indonesian maid of a Saudi princess charged with assault sued her former employer Wednesday, claiming physical and mental trauma.

Ismiyati Suryono is seeking an undisclosed amount of money in damages.

Princess Buniah al-Saud, a niece of King Fahd of Saudi Arabia, was charged Monday with felony battery for allegedly hitting Suryono's head against a wall and pushing her down a staircase. Suryono is currently walking with a cane.

Al-Saud also was charged Tuesday with grand theft and dealing in stolen property for allegedly trying to sell electronics equipment and furniture belonging to a former driver. She is free on a $5,000 bond.

Her attorney, Bud Bennington, didn't return a phone call seeking comment.

In the lawsuit, Suryono accused al-Saud of hitting her several times, choking her once and verbally abusing her.

Al-Saud, 41, could get up to 15 years in prison if convicted of felony battery. She faces an additional 10 years in prison for the theft and stolen property charges.

2001-12-19T15:20:00.000-08:00

BETTER THAN GERALDO RIVERA!

Can anyone clarify whether or not this is true? I just got this e-mail:

"Subject: Fw: Account of B-1 Crash/Rescue in the Indian Ocean.

A good read from the rescuer's point of view.

As everyone knows, we had a busy night. No matter what you hear on the
news, this is the story:

We watched on radar and talked on radio to this B-1 that left Diego
Garcia around 2100 hours last night. At about 100 nautical miles out, they
called in an emergency. One of their engines was out and they couldn't get it
going again. They turned around and started heading back, stating that they
were okay and that they would get back to D. G. and fly around the island a
little to burn off extra, then land. They didn't make it back. Shortly
after the U-turn, they disappeared from our scopes without a trace.

It's close to 2200 when this goes down and the Captain gets on the
announcing system to tell us what happened. We head straight for their
last position at over 30 mph. On our way there, we started preparing for the
worst. We manned up our two RHIB's (rigid hulled inflatable boats) with a
whole bunch of guys and gear. We had night vision gear, blankets, first
aid, stretchers, Gatorade (they were pretty happy about the Gatorade), and a
whole bunch of other stuff. Each boat had a corpsman (for medical help),
signalman (in case the radios died), engineer (to fix the boat), officer
(to be in charge), coxswain (he drives the RHIB), a seaman (to do
anything the coxswain says), and a rescue swimmer to bring the pilots out of the
water. Onboard the ship, they are preparing stretchers and stretcher
bearers. All sorts of lookouts are being manned. It was a pretty hectic
transit.

So the CO gets on the announcing system again, and tells us what he
knows.

"A B-1 went down. They have a crew of four. We are talking to one of the
pilots on his rescue radio. He is in his life raft and doing okay. He can
hear voices around him. Where they are is a shallow area that the ship
can't get to. We are going to stop about 5 - 10 miles away and send the RHIB's
down the bearing to the pilots." Just when we stop and begin to put the
RHIB's in the water, he gets on again. "Two pilots are now together and
in their rafts and doing okay. They can hear voices around them still." So
I'm now thinking that all four are accounted for and alive and talking. This
is good.

We dropped the RHIB's into the water. Mine went in second. Then, it
didn't start... but that's what the engineer is for. It only took a few minutes
to discover a loose cable on the battery. We got going a mile or two behind
the other RHIB. On our way out, we could smell all of the jet fuel. All I was
thinking was that I hope I don't have to swim in it. After about
7 miles, the other RHIB said that they had found the two that were
talking on the radio. We slowed down a bit and begin to close in on their
location.

We were looking all around. So were the planes. There were three planes
all doing low flying runs this way and that with their landing lights on. It
was kind of wild.

As I watched the water that one was lighting up I saw a flash. As the
plane flew by and the area darkened, it was easy to see a strobe light not too
far from us. We jammed straight for it. When we got closer and slowed down,
we saw that it was indeed a pilot. He said that he was okay, so we just
leaned over and pulled him in. The ejection process is a pretty violent
evolution.

He had 'rope burns' on his arm and neck and face from various straps and
stuff pulling tight when the chute opened. He was pretty stiff and sore,
too. Also, he didn't have his raft. It was torn away from him at some
point before he got to the water.

At this point we were told to transfer our guy to the other RHIB with the
two guys in it. Then, they were going to take them back and we would stay
and look for the fourth. As we were about to start over to meet the other
RHIB, we saw a flare. All three pilots said, don't worry about us, lets
go get our buddy. So, both boats headed straight for him. We got there about
the same time as the other one. We decided that we'd pick him up to even
out the loads in the RHIB. I actually got to get into the water for this one.

The guy was in his raft and we didn't want to get too close because we
might foul our prop on his parachute or sea anchor. I jumped in and swam up to
him. "Good evening, my name is Jim and I'll be your Rescue Swimmer for
the evening." It got me a smile and a chuckle - this guy is okay, too. He
asked me what the drill is to get him out of the raft and into the RHIB. I tell
him that he rolls out and I give him my floatation device. Roger that. He
rolls out and grabs the SAR-1 (floatation device), I grab him, and we
kick over to the boat. They lifted him into the RHIB and we were on our way.

Mission complete, job well done.

On the way back, they told us what happened. Once their engine failed,
other systems started dropping offline, too. They were down to one generator
when the last straw came. The attitude (not altitude) indicator malfunctioned.

Now they couldn't tell if they were flying level or not. And when they
did figure it out, they were flying upside down and heading for the water. At
night with calm seas and the stars reflecting on the water, it looks like
sky all around. So they all ejected at over 15,000 feet. Kind of a wild
story...

Anyhow, the CO gave us a holiday routine today, so I am going back to
bed."

2001-12-19T15:09:00.000-08:00

GOOD COP, BAD COP

This little blurb culled from A.P. reports:

U.N. Secretary-General Kofi Annan is playing Joe Friday with Iraq by simultaneously warning the U.S. from expanding the war on terrorism to Iraq and urging Iraq to permit U.N. weapons inspectors into the country (which would be a first since '98). Wow. I can imagine what he said: "Now Iraq, you better quit screwing around and let our weapons inspectors in - after hiding all the goods, of course - or else those evil Americans will come and rain bombs on Baghdad!"

In real life, Annan went on to say, "I have not seen any evidence linking Iraq to what happened on Sept. 11. Any attempt to do that can exacerbate the situation and raise tensions in a region that is already under strain because of the Israeli-Palestinian conflict.'' WHAT THE HELL? Is he saying that no link exists, despite evidence to the contrary? Or is he warning away inquiring minds who might seek to delve into the matter a bit more now that Afghanistan is largely under control? More importantly, what does Iraq have to do with the ongoing trouble in the West Bank? Saddam Hussein never did a thing for the Palestinians, and confined his anti-Israel activity to a few missile strikes.

Either way, it's clear: Kofi Annan is full of shit.

2001-12-15T11:09:00.000-08:00

THIS IS NOT MY BEAUTIFUL HOUSE!

You know you are old when the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame inducts two of your favorite bands. Last week, the Talking Heads and the Ramones were immortalized in the weird Cleveland steel and glass entertainment tomb.

2001-12-15T10:20:00.000-08:00

NEVER MESS WITH SETTINGS UNDER SUB-OPTIMAL CONDITIONS!

Note to self: don't try to tweak a Blogger template when it's under 50 degrees Fahrenheit in the room. It's just a bad idea all around. Instead, go eat dim sum. End of note to self.

2001-12-13T11:32:00.000-08:00

EVEN AN OLD RANT IS GOOD IF VERIFIED!

I got this e-mail today:

"Charity begins ...... where the money is.......

Jessie Jackson has added former Chicago democratic congressman Mel Reynolds to the Rainbow/PUSH Coalition's payroll. Reynolds was among the 176 criminals excused in President Clinton's last minute forgiveness spree. Reynolds received a commutation of his six-and-a-half-year federal sentence for 15 convictions of wire fraud, bank fraud & lies to the Federal Election Commission. He is more notorious however, for concurrently serving five years for sleeping with an underage campaign volunteer.

This is a first in American politics: An ex-congressman who had sex with a subordinate, won clemency from a president who had sex with a subordinate, then was hired by a clergyman who had sex with a subordinate.

His new job? Youth counselor. Is this a great country or what?"

Initially, I assumed it was some e-mail rumor thing floating around. As it turns out, it's true.

2001-12-11T11:34:00.000-08:00

ANOTHER SIGN OF THE IMPENDING APOCALYPSE

Kofi Annan, Secretary General of the United Nations, began a propaganda campaign aimed at U.S. children by appearing on a recent episode of Sesame Street. During his appearance, Annan stressed the importance of international criminal tribunals, world gun control, and a centralized government for the planet Earth, to be based in Venezuela.

At one point during the episode, the character known as Elmo blurted out, "E'mo no love bomb on Iraq!"

Todd York and Cindy Wilson, three-year-olds at the Happy Kids Day Care in Columbus, Ohio, watched the program in its entirety, then set up a multinational scheme to monitor the afternoon "nap time" proceedings.

2001-12-07T13:24:00.000-08:00

QUIT WATCHING CNN AND READ THIS BOOK...

Robert Kaplan is one of those few journalists who actually take the time to learn about the history of a place before reporting on it. Kaplan seems to spare no expense, particularly his own comfort and safety, to reach this goal. Kaplan's Soldiers of God: With Islamic Warriors in Afghanistan and Pakistan was originally published in 1999. It has just been released in paperback in a new n' improved edition to follow up on the events of 9/11. While the cover of the book seems to imply that it deals with the inner workings of terrorist groups, it is actually an exhaustive account of Afghanistan during the era of Soviet invasion and occupation.

Kaplan, while detailing the events of the mujahadin war, does not pull punches for anyone. The Left's patron saint, Alexander Cockburn, is skewered for having the gall to actually endorse the Soviet invasion. U.S. policy (and the intelligence work behind it) is taken to task for basically supporting the wrong set of revolutionaries.

Of particular note to readers currently are three revelations:

i. That airport U.S. forces recently took from the Taliban? We built it in '56.

ii. Kandahar, which has recently been held up by the anti-war crowd as an example of U.S. over-doing-it in the bombing department, was virtually destroyed by the Soviets during their years in Afghanistan, and is symbolic of the vast numbers killed in Afghanistan during the Soviet occupation (estimated at over 1 million).

iii. That John Walker twit? He's the tip of the iceberg. Pakistan is full of "schools" which turn out holy warriors for the next jihad and do so using students from all over the world, including the United States. Kaplan met a kid from L.A. (and several other Americans) at one of these places, who all agreed that the U.S. is "a place of decadence and materialism for which only the prophet Mohammed had the answer" (and they sure as hell ain't talking about Ali).

I've blathered on enough. Go buy this thing!

2001-12-04T10:42:00.000-08:00

THREE BEAN CHILI AT THE WHITE HOUSE CANTEEN AGAIN?

Attorney General John Ashcroft winces as President Bush prepares to quip: "Hey, the smeller is the feller."

2001-11-26T17:24:00.000-08:00

WHO NEEDS TRIALS WHEN YOU HAVE THE MEDIA?

Already the news industry is up in arms over the alleged plot to perpetrate a Columbine-style attack on a Boston-area high school. Naturally, the suspects must be guilty. After all, the police found: i. instructions on bomb-making (readily downloadable from websites), ii. pictures of themselves holding weapons (possibly real weapons, possibly toys; either way, these pics can be purchased at carnivals and such), iii. notes describing how to conduct an attack on the school, and iv. statements one of the boys made about wanting to blow up the school (a la Bart Simpson). Haven't the police and all of these oh-so-concerned parents and school officials heard of fantasy?

To make matters worse, one of the boys now has to contend with a number of former friends and even a teacher talking shit about him now that he is locked up.

2001-11-16T14:50:00.000-08:00

THREE FORMS OF PATRIOTISM, CHOOSE ONE

Flavor of the Month Patriotism
This is embodied by the "United We Stand" bumper stickers placed alongside the fave sports team logo without a hint of irony. It's also seen in the rush of sales of Old Glory, followed by the ugly spectre of hundreds of incorrectly-hung flags (hung in the rain, at night without illumination, wadded up for days on end...). Flavor of the Month Patriots will scurry around to buy t-shirts which read "Osama: Yo Mama", but can't find the time to vote; they've bought the new Enya CD because of that annoying song, but haven't read the Constitution. FlavPats generally echo whatever opinion they heard last.

Scary-Ass Nationalist Patriotism
This brand of patriotism is replete with stuff that would make even the most hardcore Taliban droid cringe. These are the psychos who went around shooting Sikhs after 9/11. These are the dolts who call into AM talk radio stations and argue that society would be better off without basic rights and privileges afforded by the Bill of Rights. Gas masks, Cipro, fallout shelters, and MREs are the totems of this bizarre cult.

True Patriotism
This is what loving one's country is all about. Make your nation something to envy. Be humble. Don't be a jerk. Read a book. Be nice to foreigners. Go about your business in an unremarkable fashion. Spend a little. Work hard. Make it all count. Give to charities, or volunteer. Act responsibly. Don't curse in front of other people's kids. Get a dog, walk it, and use a damned pooper-scooper. Presto: pluralism, isocracy, tolerance, mutuality, liberty, etc...

2001-11-16T13:56:00.000-08:00

BANNER DAY FOR GEEK-AMERICAN COMMUNITY

November 15, 2001, will go down in history as a monumental day for millions of 35-year-old virgins who live in their parents' basements.

Geeks around the United States punched out at their help desk jobs and massed upon movie theaters and toy stores, clad in tight-fitting t-shirts emblazoned with the logos of various Linux-derived operating systems. Chad Wilters, who had arrived at the Harry Potter premiere in Akron, Ohio, over seven hours before the credits were set to roll, blurted, "This is the happiest I've been since I was picked to participate in a focus group for Capcom!"

Economists are viewing the day's events with cautious optimism. Sales of snack foods, acne medication, and pornography soared in the days leading up to November 15.

2001-11-16T13:47:00.000-08:00

BURN, HOLLYWOOD, BURN!
There is yet more evidence that movie stars are completely, unequivocally, profoundly INSANE. Actor Danny Glover, known for almost 30 years of celluloid garbage, has come out in favor of sparing Osama Bin Laden's life. At a recent anti-death penalty love-in, Glover opined that the death penalty was just as wrong for a power-mad leader of an international network of fanatical terrorists as it would be for a common, run-of-the-mill, household murderer. A weird spin on the left's new moral equivalency tack...

2001-11-14T20:47:00.000-08:00

BIG NIGHT IN ST. PAUL
Years ago, while on a cross-country trek, I stopped for a few days in the Twin Cities. One thing I really liked about that area was the abundance of good ethnic restaurants.

One place I happened upon was the Khyber Pass Cafe, an Afghani restaurant in St. Paul. The food was excellent and unusual; I recall a noodle dish with nuts, washed down with an exquisitely spiced tea. The restaurant also offered live music (gasp!) and had a license to serve alcohol (no!).

I have a feeling the owners and patrons of the Khyber Pass Cafe have something to smile about as news rolls in of the Taliban's scurrying away, unveiled women and clean-shaven men dancing in the streets of Kabul, food aid trucks delivering staples to the hungry, etc.

2001-11-14T20:22:00.000-08:00

BREAKING NEWS: COOKIE MONSTER HIT FIRST!

Yet another sign that the world is going to hell: a man on trial for attacking a young woman in a Cookie Monster outfit is now claiming self-defense. He also asserts that he was singled out for being black. Hell, maybe he singled out poor Cookie Monster for being blue! 'C' is for cookie...

2001-11-14T19:55:00.000-08:00

COFFEE, TEA, OR MY GLOCK IN YOUR FACE?
This is paraphrased from an aviation listserv mailing:

In the first documented report that we're aware of, an Air Marshal momentarily went public by waylaying an unruly passenger, who was on his way, some thought, to 'talk with the captain' of an airliner in flight.
USAirways Flight 969, enroute from Pittsburgh to Reagan National, landed instead at Dulles, on Monday, at 5:08PM, after an Air Marshal kept a man from maybe causing trouble on board.
Passenger Raho Ortiz, 33, a lawyer employed by the EPA, on his way home to D.C., was arrested after the plane landed. His offense? He was out of his seat, with fewer than 30 minutes left in the flight. That's a no-no, when approaching Reagan. He was breaking a new rule, instituted since September.
One witness said Ortiz was on his way, "toward the cockpit," when "an air marshal jumped up with his gun and subdued him." He said all the passengers were ordered to put their hands above their heads, until the situation was under control. That witness, identified as a former federal prosecutor, called a television station on his cell phone, from the airplane (after it landed), to tell what was going on.

Postscript: the guy was charged with interference with a flight crew, then released, then the charges were dropped. A marijuana possession charge (it is unknown how this relates to the potty incident) remains...

2001-11-13T15:50:00.000-08:00

THIS IS WHY THE MEDIA CAN BE SO DAMNED FRUSTRATING...
In the wake of the crash of American Flight 587, the media, once it became apparent that the crash was not caused by terrorists, rushed to discuss the human impact of the tragedy in the following order:

1. the neighborhood where the plane crashed
2. the airline industry
3. the country as a whole
4. the Dominican community

This is infuriating because the passengers on Flight 587 were almost entirely from the Dominican Republic. We get 'round the clock coverage of whatever civilian casualties may or may not have actually happened in Afghanistan, but when poor folks in our own hemisphere are suffering, it's shuffled off to the back page.

2001-11-13T15:40:00.000-08:00

THIS IS WHY THE ACLU CAN BE SO DAMNED FRUSTRATING...
It seems that the Boulder-area chapter of the ACLU is demanding full prosecution of the "dildo bandito", the guy who swiped the penis artwork from the Boulder Library in response to the library's refusal to hang Old Glory. While I can't argue with the notion that thieves should generally be prosecuted, and that those who attempt to squelch the free expression of others should be stopped, it puzzles me that the ACLU has been largely silent on the many cases of late involving people who were not allowed to display or wear any sort of patriotic gear at work. Read more about it.

Additionally, the Chairman (shouldn't that be Chairperson?) of the Boulder County ACLU said, "We understand that, although Mr. Rowan admitted the theft to the Boulder police, the police department has decided not to charge him unless the artist requests it... Ironically, this is the way domestic violence has historically been treated, with police declining to arrest or charge unless the victim chose to press charges." This statement is utter bullshit. Most states now require the police to either arrest or issue a summons to anyone remotely involved with having perpetrated an act of domestic violence, regardless of whether or not the victim intends to cooperate and testify. Also, most district attorneys now have policies requiring full prosecution of these cases, even where the victim recants, even if it means tying up resources only to lose the case, even if means pissing off the victims who later reconcile with their abusers...

The end result of this whole affair: the Boulder library has its precious penises back and the media and public outcry regarding the PC fascism of the library is waning. Now, the ACLU comes in after the fact to stir the shit a little bit and build some hype.

2001-11-09T15:02:00.000-08:00

HEY MERLE, WHEN DOES DUMBASS SEASON START?
Saying hunters can easily be terrorists in disguise, a wildlife group on Friday asked for a suspension of New York’s annual hunting season. Oy. This is even more insane than holding mainstream (albeit goofy) environmental and animal rights groups accountable for the acts of the Vitamin B-deprived vegan bombers laying waste to research facilities throughout the west.

So, what's next, a ban on fishing? After all, fishing involves secretive behavior alone or in groups of two or three.

2001-11-08T17:37:00.000-08:00

OH, HOW UTTERLY TOUCHING...
I was delighted to read yesterday that convicted child-rapist-killer Terry Clark had a girlfriend all the way up to the moment the State of New Mexico gave him the adios juice. This is disturbing on many levels, not the least of which being that I have many exceedingly datable male friends who do not have girlfriends, yet have never committed 1/1,000,000 of the unabashed evil perpetrated by Clark...

pukeworthily fawning local article on Clark's dimwitted dream girl

Super Love Daddy Clark on his way to court last summer.

2001-11-04T13:21:00.000-08:00

RACIAL FAUXFILING
Big news item which fizzled on local TV station the other night: air passengers with non-white skin tone are being singled out for baggage searches and beep-wand swipes. Despite the veracity-beyond-reproach source (a woman wearing sunglasses who conducted the interview from the middle of a dirt road), the crafty investigative journalists could not replicate this activity at the airport. In fact, it appears that some searches are being conducted based on computer data, which is unencumbered by even the concept of race, much less any data based thereon. If I may wax anecdotal, while recently at a mid-sized airport in the South, I witnessed a random bag search. The target: a pudgy, well-to-do white guy. It was actually pretty amusing, especially once the guy began to lose his temper and demand badge numbers. The somber National Guard guys (and one gal) did not have any badge numbers for him to write down.

I'm not trying to say that no profiling is going on, and I won't bore anyone with an analysis of how the reasonableness clause of the 4th Amendment is interpreted in high-security situations. I just don't believe it's all that simple. If profiling is happening, then I must offer this (more anecdotalizing): shortly after it was determined that the OKC bombing was the handiwork of a young, clean-cut, white male, a friend (who matches that description) was stopped at an airport while en route to a job interview. His stuff was searched, and he was told quite bluntly that he was singled out because he was a young, white male travelling alone without any carry-on luggage. The fact that he was an aspiring neurosurgeon, former chef, retired greyhound adopter, pre-trend cigar afficionado and all-around good guy was of no import. He simply triggered a red flag in some computer somewhere, and he had to be dealt with.

It's like how Joe Bob Briggs responded to Minnesotans angered by their depiction in the movie Fargo (and I'm paraphrasing): nobody likes it when it happens to them, but it still happens, and at some level it may even be necessary.

2001-11-04T12:51:00.000-08:00

I KNEW THAT BROAD-BASED LIBERAL ARTS EDUCATION WOULD COME IN HANDY SOMEDAY...
While news of the possible Al-Qaeda link to Iraq (a story coming out of the Czech Republic, and dutifully ignored by most of the media) continues to irk me, I now realize that I have an opportunity to serve my country with honor, despite the fact that I am too old, move too slow, and can't shoot straight. Years ago, I took a semester of Czech. Perhaps with a little bit of intensive polishing-up at Langley, Virginia, I could be dropped into Prague (I'll need business class due to my bad knees, thanks). There, I would haunt the local bar scene (Pilsener Urquell and sausages? Be still my clogging heart!) in search of more details on the link between Bin Laden and Saddam Hussein.

Of course, most of my Czech is limited to these two phrases:
1. Kdo je knihovne? = Where is the library?
2. Jsem americky a nerozumim nic! = I am an American and I don't know anything!

My bags are packed.

2001-11-04T12:16:00.000-08:00

DAMN STRAIGHT!!!
Check out this article on how the already-withering gun control movement continues to deflate in the wake of 9-11 and a recent 5th Circuit holding: boo-yah

While I'm on the topic of packin' heat, it's interesting to note that the root of the English word "revolver" can be sort of loosely translated into the Spanish word revuelta, which, among other things, describes movements like revolve, spin, change direction, etc. Legend has it that during the U.S. - Mexican War, when federal troops and Texas Rangers were armed with new Colt .44 caliber six-shot revolvers, their foes mistook the name "revolver" to mean that the balls fired by the Colts could travel in an infinite number of directions (around corners, up stairs, etc.).

Soon, should U.S. ground forces be committed to the hunt for Bin Laden and his cronies, it would certainly be useful to have such a weapon (since it's believed that they are hiding out in a system of caves dating back to the mujahedin days). The good news: such a weapon already exists. The bad news: we don't use it anymore. Here's the deal.

2001-11-04T11:32:00.000-08:00

BURDEN OF PROOF?
I cannot be the only person who is wholly sick of the notion that we somehow owe Al-Qaeda and the Bin Ladenistas some sort of thorough showing of evidence linking them to the 9-11 attacks before we bomb the holy hell out of them. First, war is not conducted in a court of law; intelligence is not discovery. Second, if anyone wants to ensure Bin Laden's privilege to be judged on a "beyond reasonable doubt" burden of proof, that can easily be arranged. The guy has already been indicted on numerous charges associated with 9-11, the U.S.S. Cole, embassy bombings in Sudan, etc. He can avail himself of our legal system if he chooses. While I doubt he would qualify for free counsel, I am certain he could afford the best in legal representation.

2001-11-03T18:42:00.000-08:00

OLD GLORY IN NEW ORLEANS

From a recent trip to the Big Easy. Note the parking ticket on the beer truck.